Shyness – A problem of self-esteem
Many people are shy. Some of them just don’t think they are and others simply say they’re not always shy. There are situations where they can feel like a fish out of water: uncomfortable with the limelight and don’t want to be noticed. Then there are situations where they are happy and comfortable in running the whole circus and enjoy the exposure and recognition of other people. Being shy may be only a temporary feeling because it usually depends upon the situation a person is in. This is different from those who have social phobia because shy people don’t get overwhelming feelings of anxiety and panic when about to meet new or even known people.
What is shyness all about? Shyness is a feeling of awkwardness and uneasiness that can be experienced at different levels and intensities. Shyness has its roots in a lack of healthy self-esteem, which can be either too low or reflect in a high ego. When someone feels less or more important than those who they are interacting with they may start to feel frustrated that they cannot express themselves as they would like to or gain the respect they feel they deserve.
When shy people are shy?
Confronting an authority figure, such as a policeman, a doctor or a teacher, may be challenging for a person who has got problems of shyness; they may feel overwhelmed by the thought that they will make a fool of themselves if they speak up. However, it’s not just matter of being shy before an authority figure that can be a part of feeling shy. People may feel their appearance is not good enough to show up in public; being fat or too skinny, having bad acne, wearing glasses or just having the wrong dress on, may be just a few reasons why someone may feel shy.
How does shyness manifest?
Shyness can manifest physiologically through excessive sweating, going red in the face (blushing), muscular tightness, breathing and speaking difficulties, dry mouth and tight throat, involuntary body movements, shaking and heart palpitations; and psychologically by limiting the person’s ability to focus and concentrate as well as affecting their attention and awareness, causing inappropriate behavioural reactions and a desire to flee the situation at once.
What are the consequences of being shy?
Some people just don’t like to admit they are shy as they see it as a sign of weakness and may fear others will take advantage of it. So they build a sort of defensive shield around themselves. This shield may have negative consequences if we consider the impact that it has on them and on the people around.
A person that feels shy may be perceived as a rude person by their silence, lack of eye contact or through giving short and abrupt answers. They may be labeled as aloof or unapproachable. A shy person may end up feeling lonely having to avoid others; and loneliness often leads to sadness, depression and other neuroses.
What benefits would you experience by overcoming shyness?
By overcoming shyness you would feel more in control of yourself and confident about what happens around whether these are anticipated events or surprises. You would be able to genuinely interact with whoever comes along and even going up to new people and converse about anything you want.
Hypnotherapy Helps Overcome Shyness
How can hypnotherapy help you overcome shyness? Hypnotherapy can locate the cause of your shyness and then help you gain healthier and more robust self-esteem. Hypnotherapy encourages your stronger self confidence to grow enabling you to feel comfortable in more situations. With better confidence you can voice your opinions without any fear of being criticised or worry what others might think or say. It can be interesting to know that often a person who is overly critical may have a self esteem problem themselves.
by Salvatore Ridino
Hypnotherapist – London and Croydon